The Toppled Bollard: radical direct marketing in practice

What follows is an extract from the novel MAKING THE ARSENAL by Tony Attwood.  Please note this text is copyright Tony Attwood 2009 and must not be reprinted without permission.  Details of how to obtain the book are given at the end. … … Sunday 16th January 1910   The bill of fare at the [...]

In this piece I am trying to suggest to the reader that it is sometimes possible to be a bit blinkered.  Of course the reader is not blinkered, it is someone else, but this nudge can lead to a phone call from the reader to us.  Sometimes the reader says, “You are quite right – [...]

I have now ventured into the second Toppled letter of the new season – having been told by colleagues that the last one was incomprehensible.  Maybe this one makes a little more sense. The headline is … “We only do email marketing now – direct mail is so passe” (with an accent on the “e” [...]

In 2002 I experimented with the idea of changing the way in which sales letters could be written, by introducing the notion of a long-running slightly amusing story, in the place of the traditional “I am pleased to enclose our latest catalogue…” The idea took off, and our sales went up considerably as a result.  [...]

Actually, sorry, that headline is wrong.  You don’t.  You get a free emailing to teachers, a free extra mailing and a free listing on the School Procurement Website for a year. These things are all free, gratis, complimentary, on the house.  But the house has no food.  Not a crumb.  Not a sausage.  Not a [...]

Common sense suggests that you can’t advertise one thing by advertising something quite different, and yet that is what we have done for years with the Toppled Bollard stories.  This one was headed “Advertising Holidays in Cornwall”.  As usual the journey is somewhat surreal, but the end takes us to the real start. Here’s the [...]

Many years ago I wanted to ensure that everyone who was a potential customer of Hamilton House Mailings plc, at least knew about us, and thought nice things about us, even if they were not our clients.  Of course most of these people would not be our customers – we were not looking to get [...]

While taking my regular afternoon brain restoring power-tea of champagne and coconut muffins at the Toppled Bollard last week I was thrilled to cast eyes on my old chum and celebrated Bolshevik Syd Braithwaite-Cynchronize-Swymme  Syd’s translation of the poetry of Laura Riding into Old Norse remains to this day one of the masterpieces of the [...]

Welcome to the World of the Toppled Bollard – a place beyond time and space, stuck between dimensions, and just below the eiderdown. It is the secret world nerve centre of direct marketing – and you can find out more about what it really does by calling 01536 399 000. Or not.  As the case [...]