The Toppled Bollard: radical direct marketing in practice

In a speech at the Toppled Bollard in the public house’s famous landlord Billy the Dog McGuire was asked if he could say exactly what it was that the best advertisements contained.

In reply he made his now-famous statement, “Practically everything and somethings twice.”

Although this statement has since gone down into the legends of direct marketing and is quoted in all reputable marketing volumes, it is a little misleading.

Or to put it another way, it is totally misleading.

There is always a great desire to throw everything into a piece of direct mail or email marketing, saying that one can do this, that or anything else.   The notion that when one has 100 products for sale one should focus on only one of them, is alien to many firms.

The same is true with the landing page.  The idea that a landing page should contain information about just one product seems curious.  “But they might want to know about….” says the client, anxious to ensure that every possible opportunity is given to sell something.

But it doesn’t work like that.

We have landing pages so that we can direct readers to the page specifically about the product being advertised.  Tell them about two products or more in the advert, and things start to fall apart.  The same is true with the landing page.

As for telling people things twice, this too is wrong.  Treat the potential customer with a bit of respect.  Show the customer that you value his or her judgement.  Don’t force things down the customer’s throat.  Let the customer have a bit of space.  And don’t, please don’t repeat yourself.

I’ll say that again: don’t repeat yourself.

Unless you are going in for some post-modernist irony.

Thus in this regard, our great guru Billy the Dog actually spoke a load of old twaddle, and it was my honour and pleasure to point this out to him, when we met up this week in the public bar of the Bollard.

As always, the great man took my complaints in good spirits, and the fist that made contact with my nose was, I am more than willing to accept, a bit of fun joshing and light hearted banter that one might get in one of the more famous drinking dens in the Kingdom.

Besides the ambulance arrived quickly, and Billy was a gentleman in allowing them to park within a mile and a half of the Bollard.

Billy made it clear that he would welcome me back to the Bollard whenever I felt so inclined, and that my paying for a round upon arrival would close the matter once and for all, and you can’t say fairer than that.

If you would like to debate with me where I went wrong on this issue, or indeed if you would like to discuss any other matter of direct marketing, please do give me a call.  I am almost recovered and do have moments of lucidity.

01536 399 000 normally works.

Tony Attwood

There’s more about direct marketing in general on www.hamilton-house.com If you would like to know more about Billy, click on About at the top of the screen.

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