Looking back, some of the very early Bollard stories from nearly 10 years ago, were little more than simple jokes dressed up as stories.  And yet they seemed to get the chuckle and the response.  Here’s one from 2003.  The booklet mentioned in the PS is long gone, but you can see our latest info on guaranteed school email lists on www.emails.gs and our information on B2B and other mailings on www.hamilton-house.com Or call 01536 399 000

Are all my friends

two potatoes short of a hot pot?

There is a rule in direct mail that says response rates go up if one encloses a letter with the brochure.

Last week I took a copy of my new booklet on selling into schools into the Toppled Bollard – Corby’s premier meeting point for those of a marketing persuasion – and asked the assembled glitterati what sort of letter I ought to send out with such a work.

Billy “The Dog” McGraw, a regular at the Bollard and acknowledged in these parts as something of a marketing guru, was in no doubt.

“No one reads educational direct mail any more,” he said.  “Go into parents’ homes, go into schools and watch what happens.  Rubbish bins are full of it.  In schools pigeon holes are replete with ancient mail.  Believe me, no one reads your stuff any more.”

 

I was shocked.  This was not the response I had expected.   “Then why do you think people keep sending direct mail out?” I asked.  “I have customers who are mailing 30 times a year.  Do you think they don’t notice that they aren’t getting any sales?”

 

The Dog ignored my question and stuck to his theme: there was now so much direct mail about that response rates were in terminal collapse.

Of course I respect The Dog’s view but I knew this time he was wrong.  I write direct mail and I get sales.  And most of my clients get improved results when I write for them.  (Notice I say “most of”, because I don’t give guarantees.  But “most of” is about right – there are ways of getting response rates up, and they certainly do work most of the time.)

 

I looked at The Dog.  In the past he has always been quite reasonable – although I did get a bit worried recently when during the pub quiz he suggested that the correct answer to the question, “What was the name of Noah’s wife?” was “Joan of”.   Something seemed to have changed in him of late, and I seriously doubted if he was in the right frame of mind to help me write my letter to go with the new booklet.

 

“Billy,” I said, “I’ve never seen you so negative before.  You’ve become a fatalist.”

 

“I’ve never collected stamps in my life,” he replied.

 

Tony Attwood

 

PS: There’s a copy of my booklet on response rates enclosed for you.  Hope you like it.   If you want to talk about raising response rates when selling to schools and parents, give me a call.  My direct line is 01536 399 013.  Billy’s popped to Benidorm for a brief rest.

Posted in Direct marketing | No Comments »