Why mentioning Bob Dylan is the best way to sell double glazing
Why mentioning Bob Dylan is the best way to sell double glazing
This week I was taken out for a most jolly lunch at the Snake and Wolfhound (a rather enticing local pub with a singularly varied menu that has opened just next to the Toppled Bollard) by a journalist working on a series of articles on how to sell.
I told her selling was simple. I always look to the master when such issues arise. I quickly followed this with an order for a second helping of cheesecake à la Dracula with double cream – something of a favourite in these parts, trusting that neither my guest nor my personal trainer at the gym would notice.
Instantly she picked me up on this word of wisdom. “The master?” she repeated.
Nodding politely while taking a bite of Dracula and a sip of Rutland Red (which is harder than it looks, let me assure you) I gave her the full benefit of my wisdom.
“When selling we all follow the standard rules: let the customer do the talking, nod at salient points, sympathise with past problems, acknowledge that it is a tough world out there, and then when the moment is right offer a solution. Keep it simple, tell it straight, close the sale.”
To my horror she was writing it down. Against my better judgement I ploughed on.
“But we all know it doesn’t always work. You need a fall-back position, and so when in doubt I try to find something that I might have in common with my potential customer. Any reference to north London is helpful (I was born and brought up there) as is Algeria (lectured there), teaching (done it), book writing (done that too), football (season ticket), and radio (avid listener). Pick any of those,” I explained, “and a bond can be set up which can lead to a sale.”
“But what if you have nothing in common with the customer?” she demanded. “Supposing your client is interested in hockey, watches Coronation Street, comes from Belfast, was educated in Bannockburn, and works for a multi-national?”
“That is when I call on the master, for it is at that moment that I ask what the customer’s opinion is of Bob Dylan. Everyone has an opinion on Bob Dylan. Some think he’s dead, some think his voice has gone, some think “Not Dark Yet” was the greatest pop song of all time, some saw his last tour, some remember “Times they are a changing”, some know about the Oscar, some share the views of Andrew Motion. You always get a response.” I smiled. A bite of cheesecake was called for, and I obliged.
She closed her notebook. “Brilliant!” she said and left the restaurant.
So there we have it. By this time next year you won’t be able to pick up the phone without a double glazing salesman asking your opinion on “Bringing it all back home” or a hairdresser commenting on the subtle bass line in “Blonde on Blonde.” The options are endless. And it will all be thanks to me.
Tony Attwood
PS: For a limited period only you can discuss direct mail without any reference to the works of Bob Dylan by calling 01536 399 000. On the other hand if you have a few hours to spare and would like to discuss the nuances of “What was it you wanted?” you can call me direct on 01536 399 013.
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »