Are BBC comedy shows the ultimate enemy of direct mail?
Each week Billy “The Dog” McGraw delivers a lecture on direct marketing at the one of the pubs in the Toppled Bollard chain. Here’s the text of part of his latest extrapolation…
Last week I was surprised to hear a ludicrous attack on our beloved direct mail industry by an ill-informed so-called “comedian” delivering a diatribe on the BBC’s “Now Show”.
Like many before him he sacrificed story accuracy for a cheap laugh, in this case confusing the notion of “direct mail” with “door to door” deliveries. It was ever thus, as I was only saying to my dear old pal Algenon Fitzgibbon Beater, just last week.
Direct Mail as we all know involves the sending of an advertising item through the postal system to someone who might (or might not) be interested in the product advertised.
Door to door means walking from house to house, slipping a leaflet through each door. The door-to-door items are not addressed to individuals, and generally advertise (at least in my village) the Chinese takeaway that was closed down by the mental health agency the week before. (On the grounds that you had to be daft to eat there in the first place).
As part of the latest deal between the Trade Onion and the The Very Royal Mail the Onion agreed to drop the statute of limitations which meant that each house could only receive three items of door to door mail a week. Now there is no limit. As a result Corby District and City Council have put extra bin collections on.
The notion (as proposed by the rather eccentric Now Show) that the amount of addressed door to door mail could be limited is frankly bizarre and eccentric, and reminds me of the time when I was wind surfing down the Eiger with the Duchess of Rutland getting closer by the second, but that’s an how’s your father too far.
The fact is that there is no restriction on direct mail delivery in our Fair and United Kingdom, and the fact is that response rates are rising gastronomically owing to a decline in the amount of direct mail being sent out each day is proof that the pudding is in the eating.
When I called my old drinking chum, Sir Hardly Anyone, chairman of the board of directors of the BBC I told him of this alarming gaff on one of his channels, I expressed surprise that he had let it through.
“I do check all programmes personally,” Sir Hardly assured me, “exactly as the Daily Mail has demanded, and I did go and check. But I am sad to say that Wikipedia makes the same error and has a catatonically silly page on the point. I have of course written in and told them what for, and suggested they go to Channel Five. But what can I do? It’s the licence fee….” (At this point Sir Hardly was removed and put to bed by his butler.
So there we have it – door to door and direct marketing are not the same but both Wikipedia and the BBC think they are.
If someone would care to buy me a drink I shall be delighted to continue speaking for another hour or two. Ah yes, a pint of gin if you’d be so kind…
(At this point Billy disappeared into the assembled throng, and was not seen again).
Hamilton House does direct mail. We supply mailing lists, and envelopes, we print, we make suggestions about copy, we write copy, we make the tea, we speak on the phone, and we go and get Billy The Dog back from the pub after each speech. Call 01536 399 000 to find out more about what we do or visit www.hamilton-house.com which is a Billy Free Zone.
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